Open your phone message statistics and read off the total number of messages sent/received. Divide the number received by the number sent.

(number received) / (number sent) = (Your Cool Index)

Cool Index
2.50 or higher: you're hypercool; you can get away with little effort.
1.50 to 2.49: you're cool.
1.00 to 1.49: you're fairly popular.
0.50 to 0.99: you're a borderline scab to society.
0.25 to 0.49: you're lonesome and you live through others (not cool).
0.11 to 0.24: you're clearly desperate for attention, quite possibly as the result of a failed relationship.
0.10 or lower: you need to lock your keypad more often.